honesty.

Here is my honesty. Please don't judge.

I get disappointed fairly easily. It's usually the little disappointments in life that get me down more than big things.

Example: Since the beginning of January I haven't been eating sugar. NO SUGAR at all. I set a goal for myself and allowed myself 3 cheats, which included a slice of Cheesecake Factory's cheesecake for V-day. I was counting down the days and so excited. We were going to go last night but due to lack of planning ahead and a long wait at the CF, we didn't go. I seriously had tears in my eyes. I was so disappointed. 

Maybe it's more than disappointment. Could it be I like things to go my way? Or that I feel a need to control things? Sometimes I get so frustrated at myself, thinking "it's not a big deal, get over it". But I feel things so deep, whether it's joy or pain, excitement or disappointment; I am a passionate person. 

And so here you have my honesty. 

excited.

ex·cite

   [ik-sahyt]  Show IPA

verb (used with object), -cit·ed, -cit·ing.

1.

to arouse or stir up the emotions or feelings of

2.

to arouse or stir up (emotions or feelings)

3.

to cause; awaken: to excite interest or curiosity.

4.

to stir to action; provoke or stir up

When I was younger, I would get so excited about life and what was going on around me that at times, I remember literally having to take deep breaths to calm myself down. It was like my heart was so full of life I could hardly contain myself. My art teacher claimed I had a touch of ADD. I think it was just a love for life! 

I thought I had outgrown this hyper-like state of excitement. But over the past couple of weeks, that heart-is-so-full feeling has been spilling out and at times, I feel I can hardly breathe! 

God has been taking me on an amazing journey.  At times, I find myself being critical and judgmental of people I don't really know (I'm just being honest here!) One of my new years goals is to LOVE people unconditionally; to see them the way that God sees them. WOW! What an amazing journey it has been in just the 1st month of this year!!! God has been revealing things to me, and as I obey Him, relationships are being mended and bridges in friendships are being strengthened (and built!). And I KNOW it's God because of how much my heart has changed. 

I feel "stirred to action; awakened". I may not be working my dream job or living what looks to be a glamorous life, but God can use me right where I'm at! It's a choice I have to make to listen to Him. And man, does He speak if we just LISTEN! 

As you can see, I'm EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ephesians 3:20

The Message (MSG)

 ²⁰God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. 

planning . . .

"Sometimes the best surprises in life are the unplanned ones". 


I am a planner. I like to know who, what, when and where. I also love surprises. But so many times I ruin surprises by trying to figure everything out. I like to be in control, but I'm learning in this season of life that sometimes there are things beyond our control - and that's where trusting in God is HUGE. 


I guess the cat is mostly out of the bag anyway so I'll just free it completely . . . Durrell and I are putting our house on the market sometime this spring. We are taking steps towards moving to Texas. M O V I N G!!! Oh wow. We are excited! So excited. And yes, a little nervous at the unknown (again, the planner in me!). But we are walking in trust. Though our exact steps may be a little foggy now, we are just putting one foot in front of the other and launching into this new season.


The above quote was said to me by a co-worker when I was telling her about Texas. I mentioned to her how I like to know what's next. Her words have stuck with me and re-assured me that even though I may not know exactly what's next, God does. And I think we're going to be very surprised at what is to come! Can't wait to see what's next!!

I'm on a posting roll :)

Since I am not working as much, I have gotten into an organize everything mode! And with that comes some crafty-ness as I try to find homes for un-organized things . . . like CHRISTMAS CARDS!

I love getting Christmas card photos from friends! It's fun getting the mail around the holidays, knowing that there will most likely be a photo card from a friend. But what to do with all those photos AFTER Christmas?? I've heard of friends that throw them away. I couldn't bring myself to do that, so up until today, they have been stashed in envelopes in closets.

Thanks to this fun idea on Pinterest, I now found a fun way to keep, organize and display Christmas greeting card photos. 

Front - I just printed on card stock! 

punched holes in all the photos . . . 

and used ribbon to tie them together . . . the back is a blank piece of cardstock . . .

while I was at it, I did 2009 and 2010!

Guess it's time to go clean now. I'm sure I'll find more organizing along the way :)

In the New Year . . .

I love the beginning of a new year. There's something fresh, new and exciting about it. I'm not really one to make "resolutions". Instead, I like to write out goals. I have to admit that last year, not many of my goals were accomplished . . . But I feel like last year things were set in motion to make some of those goals happen this new year. 

My word for 2012 is TRANSITION.

tran·si·tion

   [tran-zish-uhn, -sish-]  Show IPA

noun

1.

movement, passage, or change from one position, state,stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change:

I am excited and a bit nervous for this new year. I feel there will be a lot of transition and changes taking place, but the end result of those changes will be above and beyond what we can imagine. Durrell and I want more of God and have come to the conclusion we will do whatever (and go wherever) it takes to get more of Him and His presence. One of my personal goals this year is to reach out to others more and love unconditionally. That sounds easy enough, right? For me, it is quite difficult. Not really the loving unconditionally part so much as the reaching out part! I love people, and yet, I love my personal time. I'm good at saying hello and being friendly, but when it comes down to giving up MY time to invest in someone else's life, that is difficult for me. I will work on this! :)

And so begins a new year. Let the good times roll :)

just thoughts . . .

I've totally neglected my blog. Not sure how many people actually read and follow it, but here is a long awaited post, if only awaited by myself.

I have thought about blogging so many times since my last post. Each time I get overwhelmed with all the thoughts I have floating in my head. I can't seem to think of just 1 topic to write about. And so I finally buckled down and decided to just write. About whatever may come to my mind. So forgive me if this post is a little everywhere.

Life is a collection of seasons. My wise father has told me this many times. He has also told me on numerous occasions - "seasons change; let them".  The idea that life is made up of seasons appeals to me . . . the idea that seasons change unnerves me. I've been realizing something about myself - I love the idea of change, but when the change actually comes, I often buck it until I get re-adjusted. And once I'm adjusted again, I generally love the change that took place! Oh dear!

A recent season that has changed for me is my work situation. I am no longer nannying. I feel like a failure in admitting that watching 2 kids under the age of 2 was more than I could handle. I would get stressed out just thinking about going to work. The money was great but it wasn't worth the anxiety. I loved the job for a season, but the season had ended. And so now I am only working 2 scheduled days at the deli, picking up occasional days when I can. This is my first week having 3 days off and already I can feel the need to be kept busy. I've gone through the attic, getting rid of stuff and organizing. Tomorrow it's the closets. I cannot sit still.

And of course the big decision looming over our heads is whether or not to move to Texas. We are still prayerfully considering the possibility. We have set a deadline for ourselves to decide one way or another. And honestly, as hard as the idea of the change is for me, I want to go. I know God has bigger plans for Durrell and I then what we can see - it just takes us stepping out. And that is harder than I care to admit. 

So here's my long awaited blog post. I'm sorry to disappoint you with my thoughts. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed time with family like we did. Happy New Year! 

-A

I had a big long post typed out and then deleted it all to say:

I'm still alive! :)