Wednesday, December 28, 2011

just thoughts . . .

I've totally neglected my blog. Not sure how many people actually read and follow it, but here is a long awaited post, if only awaited by myself.

I have thought about blogging so many times since my last post. Each time I get overwhelmed with all the thoughts I have floating in my head. I can't seem to think of just 1 topic to write about. And so I finally buckled down and decided to just write. About whatever may come to my mind. So forgive me if this post is a little everywhere.

Life is a collection of seasons. My wise father has told me this many times. He has also told me on numerous occasions - "seasons change; let them".  The idea that life is made up of seasons appeals to me . . . the idea that seasons change unnerves me. I've been realizing something about myself - I love the idea of change, but when the change actually comes, I often buck it until I get re-adjusted. And once I'm adjusted again, I generally love the change that took place! Oh dear!

A recent season that has changed for me is my work situation. I am no longer nannying. I feel like a failure in admitting that watching 2 kids under the age of 2 was more than I could handle. I would get stressed out just thinking about going to work. The money was great but it wasn't worth the anxiety. I loved the job for a season, but the season had ended. And so now I am only working 2 scheduled days at the deli, picking up occasional days when I can. This is my first week having 3 days off and already I can feel the need to be kept busy. I've gone through the attic, getting rid of stuff and organizing. Tomorrow it's the closets. I cannot sit still.

And of course the big decision looming over our heads is whether or not to move to Texas. We are still prayerfully considering the possibility. We have set a deadline for ourselves to decide one way or another. And honestly, as hard as the idea of the change is for me, I want to go. I know God has bigger plans for Durrell and I then what we can see - it just takes us stepping out. And that is harder than I care to admit. 

So here's my long awaited blog post. I'm sorry to disappoint you with my thoughts. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed time with family like we did. Happy New Year! 


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