Monday, March 31, 2014

Confessions of a first time mom . . .

I am enjoying being a mom.

Finally.

To be able to say those words makes my heart happy. The transition into parenthood has not been an easy one for me. Before Baby A arrived, we had prepared ourselves for a big adjustment . In the beginning, things seemed to be smooth sailing and I thought we had by passed the hormonal blues and uncomfortable adjustments. This sounds selfish of me to say, but around 3 months into the journey, I realized all the things I missed about non parent life. I missed ME time, US time and I realized that there was no going back. I felt STUCK.

Overall, Baby A was and is a "good" baby. Our frustrations with her were probably some of the same that most new parents have with their newborns . . . challenges with sleep time and breast feeding, early teething, etc. The hardest part for me was what felt like the loss of my independence by being with her A L L   T H E   T I M E as a stay at home mom. Babe did the best he could at giving me breaks, but with nursing, it was difficult at times. 

Seasoned parents continuously remind us to cherish every little moment with our baby because the days quickly blend into weeks, months and then years . . . 

That is wonderful advice, and so true. I can't believe my baby girl is close to 8 months old already! And though there were (and still are) times when 5 minutes of trying to calm a screaming baby feels like hours, it really is only moments. And our journey has only just begun

What changed for me? One thing - being out of the newborn stage. I'm gonna be honest, that is not my favorite age. At this point in our journey, Baby A is a very active and adventurous baby. She is crawling and pulling herself up already (at 7 1/2 months!) and loves to dance and clap. She is quick to smile and lights up a room with her bright eyes and funny faces. Her personality is really coming out and she is FUN!
Another thing that changed and is still a work in progress - taking time to re-fuel. I try to be intentional with filling myself up by taking time with God each day and focusing on His promises instead of my selfish desires. Also getting ME time now and then is a must. Even if having "me time" means sitting with a cup of coffee while Baby A naps instead of quickly trying to get house stuff done. 

I recently read James 1:5 and it has become a verse I cling to . . . "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." It's so simple! Just ASK and GOD will give it to you!!! I am asking God DAILY for wisdom! In many areas of life, but especially concerning my daughter. Parenthood brings so many uncertainties. But I have been clinging to Jesus and his word to help me on this journey. 

I have not "arrived" in my parent hood journey. I am just now enjoying it a lot more! And that in itself is a huge accomplishment for me!