Yesterday, after a somewhat emotional day, I decided to just be raw. This blog is a reflection of my life, and at times, I feel raw.
"In its natural state; not yet processed or purified."
Do you ever realize things about yourself that you don't like, and get really frustrated because you want to change NOW? I feel like right now, I am in that very raw state. I am seeing behavior patterns or selfish desires that I wish weren't there. Maybe I am going through a refining process, but why does it feel like it will never end?
My husband is amazing. Growing up with 5 brothers and only 1 sister (who is the youngest), I think the poor boy was in for a shock when he realized how emotional I can be. He is always supportive, patient, reasonable and does his best attempt to understand my feelings. He is the perfect match for me.
Durrell and I are going through a season of change. It is a time of really seeking God and making some big decisions that will ultimately change our life as we know it. It is exciting and a little scary at times. Yesterday the morning air felt like fall. I got excited for the fall season to approach, but also a little sad to see summer go. I felt God drop into my spirit a saying my dad says "Life is but a collection of seasons". It was a good reminder to me that seasons in life come and go. Not matter where we are, I want to embrace all that life has to offer.
This post was a perfect example of my thoughts that at times seem disorganized and all over the place. I want to be transparent - not just online, but in real life. It's easy for me to act like I have it all together and sometimes in that, I think I come across as unapproachable. Well, I've got junk too, just like everyone else. Here's to being raw. And just living life as the person God created me to be.