Thursday, August 18, 2011

R A W.

When I began this blog, I didn't really have a theme or agenda for it. My main purpose was to give my parents (who live in Texas) updates on our life. I thought maybe I'd post how-to's about my many crafty projects, but that's just not me. I get so engrossed in the project that I forget to stop and take pictures as I'm doing it. I thought maybe a photo blog, but somehow lately I forget to take pictures or simply don't feel like it. And lastly I've debated about how personal to make this blog. Since I have no clue who stumbles upon it, do I share personal thoughts?? Do I let my guard down and spill my guts?

Yesterday, after a somewhat emotional day, I decided to just be raw. This blog is a reflection of my life, and at times, I feel raw.

    adjective /rĂ´/ 
    rawer, comparative; rawest, superlative

"In its natural state; not yet processed or purified." 

Do you ever realize things about yourself that you don't like, and get really frustrated because you want to change NOW? I feel like right now, I am in that very raw state. I am seeing behavior patterns or selfish desires that I wish weren't there. Maybe I am going through a refining process, but why does it feel like it will never end?

My husband is amazing. Growing up with 5 brothers and only 1 sister (who is the youngest), I think the poor boy was in for a shock when he realized how emotional I can be. He is always supportive, patient, reasonable and does his best attempt to understand my feelings.  He is the perfect match for me. 

Durrell and I are going through a season of change. It is a time of really seeking God and making some big decisions that will ultimately change our life as we know it. It is exciting and a little scary at times. Yesterday the morning air felt like fall. I got excited for the fall season to approach, but also a little sad to see summer go. I felt God drop into my spirit a saying my dad says "Life is but a collection of seasons". It was a good reminder to me that seasons in life come and go. Not matter where we are, I want to embrace all that life has to offer.

This post was a perfect example of my thoughts that at times seem disorganized and all over the place. I want to be transparent - not just online, but in real life. It's easy for me to act like I have it all together and sometimes in that, I think I come across as unapproachable. Well, I've got junk too, just like everyone else. Here's to being raw. And just living life as the person God created me to be. 


1 comment:

  1. Hi Alyssa, stumbled across your blog out there on the www. Just wanted to say that I love this post. I'm often torn in trying to figure out how to blog- do I get really personal and honest or do just throw up something pretty? A lot of the time I just don't blog at all- but this post was a reminder of how refreshing honesty is. Thanks. -marylou (jeff's sister) :)