The redemption of my story as a mom . . .

This blog post has been stirring in my heart the past 6 months. I haven't had the words to articulate exactly what it is I want to say. But this morning, while chatting with some good friends, they helped put to words part of my testimony that is still being written and encouraged me to write this post. So here it goes:

With the birth of our 3rd born 9 months ago, not only did I physically give birth, but a spiritual birth happened as well. God has and is redeeming my story as a mom.

Fact: I did not like being a mom most days prior to Baby #3. With 2 littles, I struggled with anger. So many days would include frustration, shouting, and angry demands of my two sweet little girls. It shames me to think of how angry I would get, especially with my first born. She did not like sleep, and most of my selfish expectations and frustration revolved around that. Along with that, I struggled with feeling trapped and without a purpose as a stay at home mom, which seemed to result in built up aggression towards my children.

With the surprise of finding out we were expecting baby #3, I really, really struggled. If I couldn't handle 2 children, how would I manage 3?!?  I felt myself spiral downward into a dark hole. Depression is real, and something I have watched close loved ones struggle with. I never thought it would strike me. But it did, and hard. My husband and parents grew concerned about me and encouraged me to reach out for help.

I reached out to a lady at my church who had a similar story. She encouraged me in an honest and raw way. I am also so thankful for the friends in my life, especially over that time, who surrounded me with love and LOTS of prayer. I had people checking in on me, wonderful parents who took my girls to give me breaks, and a hubby who didn't stop loving me despite my change in mood and behavior.

Weeks prior to Baby #3's birth, my friends gathered together and prayed for me. They spoke words of life and encouragement to me, and also gave me specific scriptures and God given words to hang on to over the weeks to come.

Having had 2 long and hard labors with my girls, baby #3's labor seemed easy. So easy that right after baby popped out, I told hubby, "I could do that again!" Haha! ((That remains to be determined))

With the birth of Justus Alexander, I feel like the Lord has and is redeeming so much of what I have lost in the previous years of being a mother, even down to my labor. He's given me a second chance. 

In chatting with my friend this morning, she commented on how patient I am as a mother. I almost laughed at this! Lack of patience with my girls was one of the key triggers of my anger previously. But since baby #3's birth, the Lord has graced me a huge dose of patience, something that I KNOW is God breathed because it is not in my nature to be patient. 

I'm also learning to  l e t   g o! Let the kids make a mess, let their clothes get muddy and maybe even ripped (gasp!), let myself have fun with them doing silly things, let the house be dirty to spend more time playing instead of always cleaning (BIG one for me!). For me it's a daily reminder to let go of my need for control and perfection (SO HARD!).

When we found out we were expecting baby #3, I cried, feeling so overwhelmed (3 kids, age 3 and under?!?!!). I went out onto our patio with my journal and cried out to the Lord. I felt the Lord say so clearly "my Grace is sufficient". I have CLUNG to those words, and they have proven true. 

I am a messy work in progress! Clinging to God, his grace and his truth, has birthed JOY in me. I can JOYFULLY say, I love being a mama. Are there still hard days? YES. Are there still days when I yell? YES. But GOD and his wonderful, forgiving grace has removed the anger and made me so aware of the huge purpose and responsibility of raising these little ones. 

My story is still being written, but this is part of it. I wrote all this in hopes to encourage maybe just one mama who may struggle with some of what I did/do. Let me say, we cannot rely on our own strength. Let the Lord be your strength and guide, and his grace will carry you!

2 Corinthians 12:9 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Psalm 28:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

7 The Lord is my strength and shield.
    I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

This journey I'm on.

So much time has passed since my last blog post, too much to really play catch up. There have been many times I have sat at the computer with a heart full of things to post, and just not quite knowing where to begin. So I will begin with my current journey. I haven't really found a name for this journey yet. Maybe it should be "journey to joy" or "#momlife". Haha. As usual, this post will be raw and real.


Quick catch up. This year in May, Babe and I celebrated 6 years of marriage and in July, 2 years of Texas living. August brought my 30th birthday (WHAT?!!?) , our girls turning 3 and 1 (WHAT WHAT!?!?!?),  and, drum roll please . . . the news that baby #3 is on it's way (SURPRISE!!!!!!).

If you would have told the 20 year old me what the 30 year old me would be like, I think my reaction would have been that of disbelief. I've only been a mom for 3 years. But what a journey it has been.
I am so blessed that our financial situation allows me to stay home with my girls. But in that, I struggle to find joy in the day to day of motherhood. The 20 year old me was adventurous, fun, made friends easily and loved life with every fiber. The 30 year old me has struggled to find joy, finds it difficult to make friends while juggling kids and tasks, and some days, can't wait for the day to just end. 

This is not a "pity me post" or a post to get comments of "you're such a great mother". This is my journey. This is where I am currently at, but where I know and choose not to stay. It's a season. ((I also recognize that there are so many ladies who would LOVE to be mamas and cannot. My heart hurts for you. I recognize that this post may seem like a slap in the face to you, when all you want is what I have. I am simply telling my story. Please hear my heart))

"Lord, what about this season do you want me to lean in and GET?" Since having A, I feel I have been in a constant refining and pruning process. And it hurts. It's not fun. It's yucky. Bitterness, resentment and anger have surfaced and reared their ugly heads. I sometimes think to myself "who are you?!" Is it because my babies are just horrible little things? Nope. It's the crap in me that for years has gone untouched and not dealt with, and now, God is using these little munchkins to make me look in the mirror and really deal with things. (I'm sure lack of solid sleep for almost 3 years straight has something to do with it too! Hahaha)

It hasn't been a pretty season. There have been many, many tears. But daily I (and my 3 year old) will remind myself to choose joy. It is a daily battle that some days I lose or choose to not fight. But when I choose to believe what my faith says over how I feel, I am victorious. My heart's cry is that on the other side of this process, there will be jewels that come out of the ashes. And so, a bit grudgingly, I embrace this season. Because I know that with perseverance, I will grow and evolve. Not into perfection, of course. But hopefully into a more confident, loving and compassionate person. 

Why have I shared all this? I'm still not sure. Maybe because I know I am not alone on this hard journey of motherhood and another mama needed the encouragement to know that they are not alone. Or maybe you are in a different kind of hard season and needed the reminder to daily choose joy. Wherever this blog lands, I pray that it will encourage and bring hope. 


What journey are YOU on. Whether hard or joyous, I would love to hear your story. And I would love to pray for you. Please email me! 

Happy New Year! (a month late)

We knew moving to Texas would be a crazy ride, but somehow, even knowing that, we couldn't really prepare for what was to come. New Years Day came and went with a flurry of activity. And I feel that I am just now beginning to catch my breath. Baby Girl spent the night at Mimi's last night, and I am enjoying a relaxing morning of writing and 2015 goal setting. Better late then never, right?

A year ago this time we had no tangible evidence that Texas would happen for us any time soon. We had hope. And we had faith, though sometimes weak. We moved to Texas in July, a short time after receiving an amazing offer on our house. Thought we would only be living with my parents temporarily. Between our jobs not being exactly what we had anticipated and the housing market here being so crazy, our "temporary" stay with my parents stretched into 6 months. I have to say that staying with my parents was a HUGE blessing and went much better than I could have even hoped for. They are some of the most generous people I know and endlessly give of themselves. 

The week before Christmas, Babe saw a house listed for rent. We called, looked at it, liked it and found favor with the listing agent. There was a line of people wanting the house, but the realtor went to bat for us and we got the keys to the rental on  New Years Day! January 1st found us cleaning and painting OUR home! Wow what a great feeling to have our own place!! 

On top of moving into our own home, we shared the news with family and close friends that little Glickster #2 is on his/her way and due to arrive in August. Yes it was planned! And yes we are so excited!! 

Whew!!!       Deep breath . . .  d  e  e  p    b  r  e  a  t  h  .  .  .  .

I am working about 16 hours a week at a local university cafe. I enjoy the fast pace, break from Baby Girl and getting to interact with people. After doing landscaping and other odd jobs, Babe got the job he had been hoping for with a local construction contractor. They treat him so well and have high hopes for him in the future. My Babe has been faithful and humble in the little and has been rewarded with much! He amazes me and I am so proud of him. We are continuously in awe at the doors God has opened for us and give Him all the credit. 

This pregnancy has felt more challenging then I remember my first one being. I haven't been feeling great, so moving, unpacking and chasing a toddler around have been exhausting. But God's grace!! Oh His sweet grace has carried me through. And the loving support of my amazing husband and parents. 

W O W!

There is so much more to share, but I think that brings us up to date with the big stuff! Though the past 7 months have been challenging and very stretching, we now see that God has ordained our steps. Life doesn't always look like we had hoped, thought or planned. But if it would, I don't know that we would take those first steps of faith. We are excited to see what 2015 has in store for us! 

Happy New Year! 

Chocolate Cheesecake Filled Cupcakes with Buttercream Icing!

In celebration of Baby Girl's birthday, I made these scrumptious cupcakes upon Babe's request. They are a favorite of his and so ridiulously good.  These yummy treats go against my "healthy" conscience, but life is too short not to enjoy special treats now and then, right? Baby Girl hasn't had something this sweet in her entire short life, but we let her have a few bites. It was her birthday, after all!  To make the cupcakes even more sinful, I made a butter cream icing to top them off! 

Chocolate Cheesecake Filled Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 cup cocoa
• 1 cup water
• 1/2 cup oil
• 1 tablespoon white vinegar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
for the Filling:
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1 cup mini chocolate chips

Instructions

1. Make your filling first. In a medium bowl, Beat cream cheese, egg, sugar and salt until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips. Set aside.
2. Combine flour, sugar, salt, baking soda and cocoa in a large mixing bowl. Add in remaining ingredients and mix until smooth. Line a cupcake/muffin tin with liners and fill cups 1/2 full. Add one heaping tablespoon of filling into center of each cupcake.
3. This is a sticky batter so I lightly greased the top of my pans, just in case, it works great for any cupcake or muffin recipe.
4. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven 25-30 minutes or for mini cupcakes about 18-20 minutes. Let cool in pan for 20 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely
   
   Yield: 18-20 cupcakes

Notes
The recipe I normally use is from a mennonite cookbook that is currently in storage. I found this recipe on pinterest and thought it sounded fairly similar. They tasted just as great!!!  Source and pictures ChocolateChocolateandmore.com 

Buttercream Icing

http://savorysweetlife.com/2010/03/buttercream-frosting/

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks or ½ pound), softened (but not melted!) Ideal texture should be like ice cream.
• 3-4 cups confectioners (powdered) sugar, SIFTED
• ¼ teaspoon table salt
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• up to 4 tablespoons milk or heavy cream

Instructions

1. Beat butter for a few minutes with a mixer with the paddle attachment on medium speed. Add 3 cups of powdered sugar and turn your mixer on the lowest speed (so the sugar doesn’t blow everywhere) until the sugar has been incorporated with the butter. Increase mixer speed to medium and add vanilla extract, salt, and 2 tablespoons of milk/cream and beat for 3 minutes. If your frosting needs a more stiff consistency, add remaining sugar. If your frosting needs to be thinned out, add remaining milk 1 tablespoons at a time.

Serves: 2.5 cups

Birthdays are made to celebrate! 

Enjoy!

Baby Girl's 1st birthday

Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Girl!  

August 15, 2013 changed our lives forever. After 30+ hours of active labor, we were delighted to finally meet our baby girl. Our joy was dimmed when minutes after birth, the nurses realized something was wrong. Baby Girl wasn't getting enough oxygen into her blood. The details are now blurry in my mind, but I can still feel the heartache. I got to hold my baby only for a few moments before they took her to the NICU for observation, where she would remain for the next 10 days. 

After many tests and doctors telling us the worst case scenarios, we were told Baby Girl had pneumonia and fluid in her lungs . The days were a blur of tests, medical lingo I didn't understand and a roller coaster of progress and regression in our baby's health.

I have never in my life FELT prayer like I did over that time. Some of the days I felt I would break from the weight I was carrying. I felt fear that I may never get to take my baby girl home. I felt frustration and anger. But I also felt peace. Peace that passed human understanding. Peace that no matter what happened, God hadn't forgotten our little family. Thanks to our amazing friends and family and social media, we had hundreds of people from literally all over the world praying for us. We are so thankful, humbled and in awe of our Great God who healed and restored our baby girl's lungs 100%.

Today, Baby Girl is healthy, happy and full of energy!  We love her spunk, sense of humor and determination. She loves people, especially other kids, and loves going "bye bye" (anywhere outside of the house). She is pure delight and brings laughter and joy into our lives. 

And so once again we CELEBRATE! 

We celebrate life!

Happy Birthday, Alaina Grace! 

Singing the Hallelujah Chorus

We are doing a little happy dance and singing the Hallelujah Chorus. Our settlement finially went through. You probably had no clue it didn't go through, right?? For many reasons, we kept it on the down low. Mostly because we didn't want people "nicely" reminding us that what we are doing is crazy.

Everything was lined up perfectly. We loaded the truck on a Wednesday. Settlement was to be Thursday. I was to fly out Friday and Babe was to hit the road in the moving truck Saturday morning. We got the call from our realtor on Wedenday afternoon, literally right after we had closed the door of the loaded moving truck and done a final walk through of our empty house. She told us she had been on the phone for hours trying to sort through everything. She informed us that there was a glitch in some of the buyer's paper work and settlement would not be happening the next morning. WHAT?!? I wanted to cry and throw something. We had come so far on our journey and we wouldn't be able to settle?? She assured us the sale would still go through, but just be delayed.

The next morning we met at the settlement office and were able sign all the paper work so that we would not have to fly back for that. But the buyers would not "own" the house until their paperwork was approved, and because of that, we would not be getting the sale money until then.

As I drove to my in laws after getting that call, doubts flooded my mind. What if the sale didn't go through? Do we wait to move until we see the money? Where will we stay?!? God, what is going on?!!?!? 

I can still picture exactly where I was on the drive. It wasn't an audible voice, but was so loud in my spirit I could almost hear it in my ears. "DO YOU TRUST ME?" No God, obviously I don't because I'm trying to figure this all out on my own. "I HAVEN'T BROUGHT YOU THIS FAR JUST TO FORGET ABOUT YOU NOW". Oh wow. Those words rang in my heart so loudly. I took deep breaths, trying to find comfort in those words (and tried not to burst into tears). 

We decided to proceed with our plans to head to Texas and trust that all would fall into place. Our realtor told us settlement would happen the next Monday. It got pushed back to Friday. And then pushed back AGAIN to the following Monday. And then finally, yesterday, 3 weeks after our original settlement date, our house sale was finalized!!!

And this is why we are having ourselves a little dance party!

It's so easy to dwell on the things that go wrong in life. 

What about all the things that go RIGHT? 

We haven't melted . . . YET!

I figured out pretty quickly that Texas summers are like PA winters. You just stay inside and don't attempt to do many activities outside. And my brave Babe! He just endures the outdoor temps while working, whether the PA cold or the Texas heat! He never complains.

We are alive and well here in our new "home". I say home in quotes because we are currently staying with my parents. Though we are settling in nicely, it doesn't quite feel like reality that we are here to stay since we are not in a house of our own. 

We were not able to find a suitable house to rent before we had to have the moving truck returned. Currently all of our belongs are in a storage unit, with the exception of the few things we brought to my parent's to make our stay here feel a little more like home. My parents are so gracious to allow us to stay with them! Though we hope the arrangement is temporary, their house offers a great set up. We have our own room and bathroom and Baby Girl has her own room as well. So thankful for their giving hearts! And of course, Baby Girl is loving all the attention Grammi and Poppy are pouring on her. (Babe and I are loving the "breaks" we get as well!!) 

Babe started working the first week we arrived and since has been working for 2 different companies, sometimes working two jobs in one day. We are not sure how permanent either job is, but for now we are grateful for anything provides income. 

I had an interview this week at a local Christian university's onsite cafe. The job looks promising and seems like something I will enjoy! I am thinking I'll work 2 or 3 days, with my mom watching Baby Girl. I look forward to getting back to work, simply to meet people and be social. 

Despite things that seemingly went "wrong" with our move, so many more things went right. Above all, we have a peace that passes ALL understanding! We know God has not forgotten us and he continues to guide and direct our steps. 

If you've been praying for us, thank you! Please don't stop :)

Texas Update

Thank you to those of you who have prayed,  text, commented on fb, helped with packing and loading the truck or stopped by to give hugs and say goodbye over the past week. 

WOW what a week!!! I finally feel caught up on rest after Baby Girl and I slept about 10 hours last night!

Baby Girl and I arrived in Texas yesterday with my parents via plane. ALL of our stuff is on it's way now with Babe and 3 of our awesome friends helping to drive the moving truck and our pickup truck. Should arrive by tomorrow morning.

Our original plan was to stay with my parents for awhile and put our stuff in storage until we find a place. After loading the truck, we got a little weary thinking of loading and unloading our stuff so many more times. We are going to Plan B and looking into finding a house to move into right away. Babe and I have had our eyes on a few rental properties that we found online. Yesterday my parents drove me around to those properties to get a neighborhood view and feel. Tomorrow, once Babe arrives, a realtor is taking us to tour some of the houses we picked out. Praying for a rental house that we like, that is in our budget and within a reasonable distance of my parents house and church. 

Baby Girl is doing good overall. She did awesome on the plane ride and is loving exploring Grammi and Poppy's house. I know the change is effecting her, though, as I see small changes in her behavior. We will be very glad to have daddy with us again and to get into our new "normal".

Please continue to pray for us. As much as we've looked forward to this, it is still a BIG change. Lots of adjusting, transitioning and being  s t r e t c h e d!

Thanks, friends!

-A

It's not "goodbye". It's "see ya later".

This is our last weekend as Pennsylvania residents. Next week this time Alaina and I will have landed in Dallas with my parents and Durrell will be soon to follow in the moving truck. ((deep breath)) It's starting to hit. But hit mostly in waves of excitement and anticipation. This is our adventure. And how exciting it is!!!

Yesterday morning as I was alone and driving around the Lancaster County country side, I thought over the events of the last 3 years. I remember times of crying tears of frustration. Times of asking God WHY?! Why was our house not selling? Were we to stay in PA? Why would our hearts not stop longing for something that may not ever become a reality!? Right at what felt like my breaking point, the doors swung open. And now . . . W O W. It's really happening. God answered our prayers. Not in our timing, but in His.

? Will we live in Texas forever? We don't know.
? Do we feel "called" to Texas? Or feel that God "told us" to go? No. It is simply something we have dreamed about doing and we are going to give it a try. We feel at peace with our decision and have been amazed at the doors that continue to open for us.
? What if we hate Texas? We'll come back to PA.


At times I have had a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth about Lancaster County. The small town-ness sometimes gets to me. But as the weeks have counted down to our departure, I have been reminded of the things I love about this place. There is a tiny part of me that is sad to leave my hometown and it's deep rooted traditions and religious backround. But I know many of the traditions I have held on to will be passed down to future generations, no matter where we live.

And so, as we embark on our journey, it's not "goodbye". It's "see ya later". Because we'll be back, if even only for visits. We'll be back!

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Saviour

For over 2 years, we have had big dreams of moving to Texas. Our attempts at making it happen continuously failed. In the last couple of weeks, doors have been opening and our dreams are becoming a reality. Our house has sold. We are now free to make the move we've been hoping for!

If all goes as planned with the settlement of our house, we will be headed South by July 12th. That is in 6 weeks!!! 

Do we have a house in Texas yet? Nope.
Does Babe have a definite job lined up? Nope.

Are we nervous or scared? Sometimes.

Are we excited to embrace a new life? Most days.

Why are we moving? Why not. (my parents live there, which is a big draw . . . we've also found an amazing church that we absolutely love . . . And we keep thinking, if we don't do this, we'll always wonder "what if".)

Are we crazy? Probably.

To most people, we are crazy and maybe even foolish. And then there are those few who encourage us onward, daring us to step out of our comfort zone and embrace change and growth. 

I know it will not be easy. Packing has already proved to be more of an emotional process than I realized. We are leaving behind all that we have ever known. But I also know that we are about to embark on a journey that will change us for the better and we will (hopefully) never be the same again. 

Here we go, ya'll! ;)

-A

Confessions of a first time mom . . .

I am enjoying being a mom.

Finally.

To be able to say those words makes my heart happy. The transition into parenthood has not been an easy one for me. Before Baby A arrived, we had prepared ourselves for a big adjustment . In the beginning, things seemed to be smooth sailing and I thought we had by passed the hormonal blues and uncomfortable adjustments. This sounds selfish of me to say, but around 3 months into the journey, I realized all the things I missed about non parent life. I missed ME time, US time and I realized that there was no going back. I felt STUCK.

Overall, Baby A was and is a "good" baby. Our frustrations with her were probably some of the same that most new parents have with their newborns . . . challenges with sleep time and breast feeding, early teething, etc. The hardest part for me was what felt like the loss of my independence by being with her A L L   T H E   T I M E as a stay at home mom. Babe did the best he could at giving me breaks, but with nursing, it was difficult at times. 

Seasoned parents continuously remind us to cherish every little moment with our baby because the days quickly blend into weeks, months and then years . . . 

That is wonderful advice, and so true. I can't believe my baby girl is close to 8 months old already! And though there were (and still are) times when 5 minutes of trying to calm a screaming baby feels like hours, it really is only moments. And our journey has only just begun. 

What changed for me? One thing - being out of the newborn stage. I'm gonna be honest, that is not my favorite age. At this point in our journey, Baby A is a very active and adventurous baby. She is crawling and pulling herself up already (at 7 1/2 months!) and loves to dance and clap. She is quick to smile and lights up a room with her bright eyes and funny faces. Her personality is really coming out and she is FUN!

Another thing that changed and is still a work in progress - taking time to re-fuel. I try to be intentional with filling myself up by taking time with God each day and focusing on His promises instead of my selfish desires. Also getting ME time now and then is a must. Even if having "me time" means sitting with a cup of coffee while Baby A naps instead of quickly trying to get house stuff done. 

I recently read James 1:5 and it has become a verse I cling to . . . "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." It's so simple! Just ASK and GOD will give it to you!!! I am asking God DAILY for wisdom! In many areas of life, but especially concerning my daughter. Parenthood brings so many uncertainties. But I have been clinging to Jesus and his word to help me on this journey. 

I have not "arrived" in my parent hood journey. I am just now enjoying it a lot more! And that in itself is a huge accomplishment for me! 

A New Year

There's something so fresh and exciting to me about the start of a new year. It's like a blank piece of paper begging to be written on. Towards the end of December, I enjoy looking back in my journal at the entries I wrote throughout the year. I like to see what things changed or stayed the same. I try to set aside some time on New Year's Day for reflecting and setting goals for the new year. This past New Year's day, Babe and I took a little time and prayed together over 2014 and all the changes we hope it brings. I kinda liked that . . . Maybe it was the start of a new tradition.

2013 was bitter sweet for us. Some of things we had hoped to accomplish or see come to past did not. The sweet part?  We got to experience the miracle birth of our Baby Girl and become a family of 3. That in itself outweighs our disappointments!! Our goals as a couple in 2014 seem to be a repeat of 2013. But that's OK. Sometimes (actually, most times), dreams take a little longer to come to past then we think they should.

For me personally, I've decided to set weekly goals instead of yearly goals. As a mommy, I've been finding that time just seems to slip away from me. If I am not intentional about my day, the days quickly slip into weeks and before I know it, it's the next month already. I also set specific goals. For example: instead of having a goal to "be more encouraging", I've set a goal to send a card a week to whomever God puts on my heart. If I break my goals down by weeks, I'm hoping by the end of the year I actually accomplish the things I set out to.

Excited for this new year. Praying for God's wisdom and direction as we seek His will for our future plans.

From our little family to yours, may you have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2014! 

Holding My Baby Tight

My thoughts have been all over the place this last week, so forgive me if this post is a bit muddy. 

When I was younger, I thought my parents were strict. Especially in my teenage years (of course)! They had regulations on things that I thought at the time were silly. As I entered into adulthood, I slowly began to see the things they were trying to protect me from. They may have been a bit overboard at times, but the boundaries they had set up for me were meant to keep me safe. I wouldn't say they were overprotective. I was given choices and allowed to make mistakes. But they were involved in my life, always. And now, as a parent, I find myself having the concerns for my baby girl that my parents did for me. I get where they were coming from.

There are so many different parenting "techniques", if that's what you call them. This book says to do this, that Dr. said to do that. Don't do this. You'll scar them if you do that. What works for one child may not work for another. I feel overloaded!

A local news article this week concerning the sexual abuse of a minor by a "trusted" adult has shaken me to the core. I was holding Baby Girl as I read the article. Fear gripped my heart. I want to hold her and never let her go. Never let her out of my sight!! I found myself questioning the integrity of even those closest to us. How will I protect my baby from the crazy things in our world?? 

As I've been processing things this week, fear has attempted to cripple me many times. I've had to remind myself that my baby girl is in God's hands. I can't keep her in a bubble her whole life. I want her to learn, grow, make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. Babe and I have and continue to pray for wisdom to know how to raise Baby Girl and our future children. We need that wisdom to know what works for us and our family. The unknown scares me. I like to know who, what, where and when. Life isn't predicable. Bad stuff happens. But my heavenly Father never leaves his children's side. He will hold my babies and never let them go. He will never let my babies out of his sight. 

And so we will daily seek wisdom from our heavenly Father and trust that He's got our little family in His hands. 

Gluten Free Peanut Butter Brownies

Thanks to my friend Larissa for this yummy chocolate fix of a recipe!!
WARNING: do not give in to the temptation to eat entire pan in one sitting!!

Best Ever Gluten Free Brownies

1 Cup Almond Butter (or other nut butter - I used all natural peanut butter)

1 Egg

1/2 Cup Raw Honey (I used regular honey)

1/8 Cup Maple Syrup

1 Tbsp. Vanilla

1/4 Cup Cocoa or Carob Powder

1/4 tsp. Salt

1/2 tsp. Baking Soda

1/2 Cup Chocolate Chips

Mix all ingredients together and put in a greased square baking dish. Sprinkle with chocolate chips (and walnuts if desired).

Bake for 20 - 25 minutes at 325 degrees. 

5 Worst Foods For Babies

Here are bits from an article I found interesting on babycenter.com

5 Worst Foods For Babies

From 500-calorie desserts disguised as coffee drinks to greasy, salt-encrusted french fries, we adults usually know when we're making unwise food choices. But often we don't realize that many of the foods we routinely give babies are essentially junk food – high in calories, sugar, or salt, and low in nutrients.

Eating junk food is more damaging to babies than adults. That's because babies don't need many calories, but they do need lots of nutrients. It's easy for them to fill up quickly on junk food's empty calories, leaving no room for nutrient rich healthy foods.

Here's the list of the worst food offenders for babies.

Soda

It seems too obvious to mention, but believe it or not, some babies are served soft drinks as early as 7 months of age, according to a survey of more than 3,000 families presented at the American Dietetic Association (ADA) conference in 2009.  

Juice

Sure, it comes from fruit, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. The fiber in fresh fruit is largely lost in the juicing process, and what's left is a whole lot of sugar.

Using certain types of juice – specifically apple and pear – to sweeten your baby's food isn't a good idea either. The sugars in these juices can speed up the food's passage through the digestive tract. When food passes too quickly, the body doesn't have time to absorb all those lovely nutrients. It can also lead to diarrhea in some babies.

What about advertisers' claims that juice provides babies with necessary vitamin C? Don't be fooled. Babies can easily get their vitamin C from one small serving of fruit.

What should your baby drink instead? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies younger than 6 months drink nothing but breast milk or formula. Babies 6 to 12 months old can have small amounts of water, but breast milk or formula should still be their main beverage. After the first birthday, cow's milk is recommended.

Crackers

They make convenient snacks once your baby can bite and chew, but it won't take many to satisfy your little one's appetite, leaving no room for nutrient-rich foods. Also, just as eating sweet things can help babies develop a sweet tooth, eating salty things can give them a "salty tooth." The survey presented at the 2009 ADA conference found that nearly three-quarters of toddlers and preschoolers get more than the recommended daily amount of sodium.

The ever-popular fish-shaped crackers fall into this category. Fruit slices are a much better choice. And if you're looking for an instant grab-and-go snack, low-sugar cereals have more nutritional value than crackers, she says.

Processed meals

People define processed foods in different ways, but in general, the more the food is modified from what was originally caught, raised, or grown – and the longer the list of ingredients – the more processed the food. With heavy processing, foods often lose significant nutritional value and gain unhealthy additives.

The more processed the food, the more nutritional value tends to go down, and the more the sugar, salt, and fat content goes up.

The worst processed foods parents serve up are the ones not specifically meant for babies, such as canned pasta. They often contain way too much sodium. You're better off boiling up some noodles and topping them with a few crushed tomatoes.

Gelatin desserts

You'd be surprised at how many people think a gelatin dessert is a wholesome food for babies.  Why the misconception? Many people think gelatin contains protein, perhaps because it's made from processed animal bones and cartilage. But it doesn't, at least, not in any significant amount. What the baby ends up eating is nearly all sugar, artificial color, and artificial flavor, and a trace amount of gelatin to make it wiggly.

True, gelatin is easy to swallow, but then again, so is this healthy dessert: a baked, mashed apple with a sprinkle of cinnamon. It's naturally sweet and has good fiber, vitamins, and a yummy, smooth texture.

10 Best Foods For Babies

There are SO many resources for mommy life. With books, blogs, websites, friends and family - sometimes all the "advice" can be a bit overwhelming. One of my favorite websites as a first time mom has been babycenter.com. I find their articles helpful and practical. A recent article on the site titled "The ten best foods for baby" caught my attention. I have a fascination with nutrition in general. As a mommy, I want to give Baby Girl food that will not only satisfy her hunger, but benefit her nutritionally as well. I'd like to make my own baby food to avoid all the additives in bought baby food and also to be cost effective. My blog post today is an excerpt from this article on babycenter.com . . .


10 of the best foods for babies . . .

• Squash
• Lentils
• Dark green leafy vegetables
• Broccoli
• Blueberries
• Avocados
• Meat
• Prunes
• Garbanzo beans
• Mandarin oranges

Squash

Squash is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, is naturally sweet, and has a pleasing, creamy texture.

Serving idea: Sprinkle parmesan cheese and a little chili seasoning on half a squash, roast it, and scoop out a serving for your baby. Cooked squash with a little cilantro, mild chiles, and garbanzo beans are another great combination.

Lentils

Crammed with protein and fiber, lentils pack a powerful nutritional punch. They're also one of the cheapest healthy foods you can buy.

Serving idea: Combine cooked lentils with mixed vegetables, rice, and seasonings of your choice. Try basil and oregano, or toss in a bay leaf, which works really well with lentils. (Remove the bay leaf before serving.)

Dark green leafy vegetables

Leafy greens boast high amounts of iron and folate. While spinach is perhaps the best known of this group, there are many other varieties, including kale, chard, and collard greens.

Serving idea: Steam and puree a batch of greens, then mix with iron-fortified cereal to give your baby a double dose of iron. Experiment with the proportions to see what your baby likes; try starting with two parts veggie to one part cereal.

Broccoli

Brimming with folate, fiber, and calcium, broccoli is also known for its cancer-fighting properties. And thanks to its sulfur compounds, it has a unique flavor that can help expand your baby's tastes.

Serving idea: Steam pieces until soft, then chill. Steaming takes the bite out of broccoli; chilled broccoli is sometimes better accepted by babies. It can also be soothing during teething.

Blueberries

The deep, brilliant blue of these berries comes from flavonoids called anthocyanins, which are good for your baby's eyes, brain, and even urinary tract.

Serving Idea: Combine 1 cup of blueberries with one-quarter cup of water in a bowl, microwave for one minute, and let cool. Then swirl some plain yogurt on top. 

Avocados
Avocados are a rich source of unsaturated fats.  In fact, the fat composition is somewhat similar to that of breast milk." 

Serving idea: Try combining mashed avocado with other foods, such as cream cheese, apples, or canned fish.  When it's playgroup time, ditch the crackers and take an avocado along instead. Avocados can travel in your bag at room temperature and you can offer them in slivers or spread on toast fingers while you sip coffee with your friends.

Meat

Many of us don't think of meat as a typical baby food, but it is a great source of zinc and iron

Serving idea: Cook stew! Stew is the ideal baby food – easy to make, easy to chew, and endless in its variety. Experiment with adding different veggies and seasonings, such as ginger and parsley. Just be sure to cook the stew long enough for the meat to turn soft and scrumptious. 

Prunes

Prunes have lots of fiber and can help relieve constipation – which your baby may experience after you introduce solid foods.

Serving idea: Puree prunes and serve them straight or mixed with other foods, such as cereal or applesauce, for a naturally sweet treat. If your baby is badly constipated, try adding a teaspoon or two of prune juice to formula or expressed breast milk.

Garbanzo beans

Like lentils and other beans, garbanzos are rich in protein and fiber. They're also inexpensive and versatile.

Serving idea: Try hummus. You can find it in many grocery stores, or make your own by pureeing cooked garbanzo beans with garlic, lemon, olive oil, and tahini. You can also make a delectable finger food by sautéing or roasting the beans.

Mandarin oranges

High in vitamin C and antioxidants, mandarin oranges are a supreme finger food. Babies really love the flavor.

Serving idea: This is a particularly easy one to prepare – just cut the segments into bite-size pieces and serve. You can buy mandarin oranges fresh or canned, but make sure the canned version is packed in water, not syrup, which contains added sugar.

The website recommends after introducing any new food, wait three days before moving on to the next new food to identify any possible allergic reaction. If your baby's still a beginner at eating solids, grind or puree the food as needed.